“Jordan go play on the swings!”
“So what happened?”
“He such an idiot, why take your girlfriend to the scene of the crime, I mean I’ve known, it’s so obvious. But why the fuck would he take me…”
“He’s a man. That’s what they do. They assume we don’t know but we do.”
“Seriously, he was like ‘oh I love getting massages there. I got you a two hour massage.’ Like it is supposed to be some sweet thing he did for me but come on, he goes there once a week. And then I go in for my massage and you know she knows who I am and she spends like an hour on my temples. My temples.”
“Why would he take you there, I mean obviously you were going to figure it out.”
“I know! I doubt their two hour long massage session was concentrating on the temples.”
“Mommy look at me. I’m flying.”
“Jordan it’s just a swing.”
“It is so hard to talk here.”
“Well, you know the whole town probably knows, nothing gets past anyone in this town.”
“I know he’s such a cheating bastard. Like I couldn’t tell that there was something going on between those two. Please, they act all professional when I walked in. but you know, as soon as they went back into that room they were messing around.”
“How did he even think this was a good idea? Why would he take you to see the woman he’s cheating on you with? Really he’s such an idiot.”
“I know. He said it was a gift for me. I could tell though. Look at me I have two kids and have been married 3 times, I know when a man is cheating on me.”
“When you go to his house tonight you should call him out!”
“Oh I’ll call him out. I’ll shred his clothes. He’s going to have to be beggin on me and kissin’ on me to make this one up.”
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This is an awesome conversation to overhear, but it needs something beyond the dialogue! What did the ladies do as they were talking? Were they looking at each other, ignoring each other, focusing on the kids, their phones, what? What did their body language say? What did the kids do?
ReplyDeleteI would agree: this is a wonderful conversation to overhear! I too would like some more detail beyond the just the dialogue. How old were the women? What do they look like? Tired? Well-put together? Where were you? Details like this will help break up the dialogue so the reader isn't bombarded with it.
ReplyDeleteI agree with both Katie and Valerie. Description of the ladies and more of the park scene itself would put this piece into depth. I love the dialogue. This is a pretty cool conversation to overhear.
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